Why The Onion Is So Awesome

I was recently having a debate with someone on whether The Onion was an entertaining newspaper or not. For those who are not familiar with it, The Onion is essentially a "fake news" newspaper, as the articles included in it's pages are fabricated by an ingenious (in my humble opinion) staff of writers. As my main article of debate, I chose my personal favorite article, as seen in 2007 on an October cover. If you don't think this is funny, I don't think we can be friends...